THIS IS MY STORY

Coming of age in the 70s the word gay had not yet entered the language as an affectionate way to refer to my sexual preference. Instead, the word homosexual was whispered around small town Ohio but the more common words for me were faggot and queer.

As a result, I had no points of reference to better understand who and what I was. There were no role models on TV or radio No one was publicly gay. Even Elton John was still in the closet. And although TV did feature people who were obviously gay like Paul Lynde, Charles Nelson Reilley, and Liberace, I did not relate to their flamboyance and their performances were never connected to their sexuality.

When I was 15, I began working at a grande show palace in downtown Cleveland that brought A and B, and sometimes D list level stars. Working there, I had my first exposure to gay men on a personal level. All of them were close to a decade older than me and all of them were alcoholics. And, I did not relate even though I was beginning to realize that parts of me were more like them than all the heterosexual's around me.

I, too, began to drink and party heavily. I thought this was the life that I was destined to lead. Being gay meant either being flamboyant or it meant being a sad drunk.

I chose a college close to my workplace so that I could continue to see the amazing entertainment that I was watching nightly. And as I had showbiz dreams of my own, I decided to try out for the college musical, COMPANY. I had never heard of the show nor of its composer, Stephen Sondheim. So I made an appointment to meet with the music director to ask him about the show and about the man who wrote it. The music director's mouth dropped when I asked but instead of being rude, he said, I have just the solution. He sat me down and played "A Weekend in the Country" from A LITTLE NIGHT MUSIC and then continued to play song after song from the hits that Sondheim had written up to that point. I was taken aback not only by the genius of the writing but by the kindness and sincerity of the person taking the time to open my eyes to a different kind of Broadway than Rodgers and Hammerstein.

I don't know why, but something about the day clicked for both of us and soon I was hanging out at my mentor's house, playing pinochle with his roommates - even sleeping with one of them -, and experiencing a type of gay life that I did not know existed. Over my four years of college and the 40 years since we have remained close and spoke often. He didn't just send in the clowns, he made them perform just for me.

As I've gotten older, I have worked to set an example and mentor other young gay men. I freely talk about all my experiences, good and bad, in hopes that they can learn more about themselves through it and grow to be the men that they want to become.

It's still not easy for a young gay person to come out of the closet. Once they are out, there is no guidebook as to how to live and many get caught up, as I did, in the world of partying and meaningless encounters. That's why organizations like SFGMC are so vital to the health of our community. They provide a community space where men young, old, fat, skinny, handsome, and not so can be together with one goal and one goal only, to make music as a family. My four years in SFGMC have been among the most rewarding of my long life eternally grateful

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