Everybody can ally with LGBTQ+ people. Being an ally, however, doesn't just mean saying it. To make other people think and understand why being an ally is essential, you must speak up, and vote for people and propositions that will keep LGBTQ+ people safe, provide equal opportunities, and challenge social norms. In addition, to be an active ally, you must educate yourself, stay informed, and stay updated on current events.

Those who are part of majority groups, such as white, heterosexual, and cisgender people, are some of the most valuable allies we can get because they are in a stronger social position and are more likely to be heard by all. Are you curious about becoming an ally? Keep reading! 

How to be a Good Friend and Queer Ally

Thanks for joining us! Here is our five-step guide on how to be a good friend and a queer ally. But, before you start your allyship journey, we have a bonus tip for you: While listening to LGBTQ+ people, it's essential to keep in mind that the LGBTQ+ community is diverse and has such a wide range of lived experiences, philosophies, and values that no single viewpoint can genuinely represent the whole community. To be successful, no group, whether marginalized or not, should be treated as a monolith. 

Make Yourself Available

Our first tip is to be available. This means committing and scheduling the prearranged time to ensure you are there when they need you. To be a better ally, you should be able to listen to others express themselves and ask respectful questions when they share important stories or have discussions with you.

Listen to LGBTQ+ People

Being an ally also involves listening to LGBTQ+ people outside of your normal circle. You can better understand LGBTQ+ perspectives, how the world works for them, and how others treat them by listening to them and truly hearing what they say. Understandably, they may feel vulnerable sharing such information, but keep an open mind, ask thoughtful questions, and remain ready to learn. Don't speak over them or interfere as they talk to you. 

A person's truth is their own, and talking over them can be intimidating and may make them hesitant to share further. Also, it would be helpful to research and prepare ahead of time. Aside from giving you an overview of the LGBTQ+ community and current events, you will also understand what questions are appropriate and what questions are not. You will demonstrate a genuine interest in learning rather than relying on them to tell you everything.

Show Up, Be Present, and Lead with Empathy

LGBTQ+ people continue to fight tirelessly for their rights, to prove that their lives are no less valuable than everyone else's. There are plenty of opportunities for allies to shine here, too. Attend LGBTQ+ events and protests, and encourage your friends and family. Think about how you would feel if your government stripped you of your fundamental rights, and then imagine how LGBTQ+ people must feel. 

You can be more effective as a social justice activist if you understand other people's thoughts and feelings. Empathy inspires your passion for a cause and can help you build close relationships with community members and allies. 

You can also show up by joining community groups dedicated to LGBTQ+ rights, subscribing to their email lists, following them on social media, and making your presence known. Also, if you have the resources and time to volunteer at some local LGBTQ+ organizations or nonprofits, you might find the San Francisco Gay Men's Chorus to be an excellent place to volunteer. 

Use Your Privilege to Help Amplify Voices

Making space and amplifying the voices of LGBTQ+ people is crucial to utilizing your privilege as an ally. Public or private settings are an excellent opportunity to use your voice. For example, if you hear someone say something offensive toward the LGBTQ+ community, acknowledge their comment, explain the problem, and use it as a teachable moment. Then, start a conversation and encourage allyship. In addition, be aware of how much space you are taking up; if someone in the community would prefer to respond, let them speak first. The goal is to learn to talk with LGBTQ+ individuals, not for them.

Don’t Make Assumptions About LGBTQ+ People

An ally should never make assumptions about the lives and identities of LGBTQ+ people. As a result, you may have to do internal work since you're addressing your default assumptions and unconscious biases. However, we all do it, so don't feel like you're alone! 

If you assume someone's sexuality or gender identity based on how they dress or speak, notice it, make a mental note or write it down, and take the time to process and understand where that assumption is coming from. Additionally, it is important to listen to social cues when talking; if someone uses gender-neutral pronouns to refer to another person, do not assume their gender but continue using the same pronouns.

Furthermore, you should not assume that just because a person says they had an ex-partner of a given gender, they are automatically a particular gender or sexual orientation. In addition, it is important not to assume that you have the right to share someone's birth name simply because you know it. What’s more, do not assume that a transgender individual has undergone medical interventions merely because they are transgender. Finally, don't assume that someone who comes out to you is out to everyone; allow people to come out at their own pace and as they please.  

Educate Yourself on Issues 

To be better allies, you must be aware of LGBTQ+ civil rights movements and pivotal events, such as the Compton’s Cafeteria Riot in 1966 or the Stonewall Riots in 1969. Throughout history, discover individuals who have pushed and fought, and even put their lives on the line, for LGBTQ+ rights. Further, learn about the countless individuals and groups omitted from history books or whose biographies neglect to mention their sexual orientation or gender identity. In addition to watching documentaries and reading books, the Internet is a great place to get further information and learn about LGBTQ+ history and the community's current struggles and triumphs. If you are interested in finding out more about the legislation affecting LGBTQ+ people, the ACLU is a great place to start., You can also find blogs and articles written by LGBTQ+ people and allies. 

Support and Share Queer Businesses & Charities

Outside of participating in physical spaces or on the Internet, another way you can support queer people is to become a conscious shopper. Your money allows you to make a direct impact on the government. When shopping, think about supporting LGBTQ+ businesses, restaurants, and cafes. When you buy consciously, you reduce your chances of helping companies, ideologies, or political campaigns that are homophobic, biphobic, or transphobic. Contributing your time and money as a volunteer at LGBTQ+ organizations and charities is always worth it if you have the resources. 

Take Action

To be an ally, you have to be ready to act. Being an ally is a full-time responsibility; for example, you must call out discrimination everywhere you see, whether it is homophobic, biphobic, or transphobic. Express what about their words or actions was offensive and explain why and how their actions impact others. When you are out with family and friends, at work, or at school, amplify the voices around you. 

To make a difference, we need to hold those around us accountable for their actions and words. Change often moves from one person at a time, so you need to be a change agent wherever you go. 

How SFGMC Helps the LGBTQ+ Community Through Music

We believe that social justice, inclusiveness, and acceptance play a vital role in the success and strength of LGBTQ+ communities. As a result, we use our lyrics to sing and belt out our truths and beliefs at our shows. 

Our lyrics aim to raise awareness, promote acceptance, and broaden people's perception of queer life. We can change the course of queer history when we sing as a collective. For the LGBTQ+ community to be its most successful and strong, we all must be involved in social justice, inclusivity, and acceptance. By performing our music, we can inspire other LGBTQ+ individuals to unite, feel powerful in their authentic selves, and build community locally and globally. 

In 1981 we went on our first national tour. While we didn't know it, it would be a pivotal moment for the San Francisco Gay Men's Chorus and our future. Our lyrics' power was evident through the tears of parents and the excitement of LGBTQ+ people coming together to celebrate the joy of belonging. This tour prompted many cities to form gay choruses, which continue to flourish today - internationally! 

The feeling of connecting LGBTQ+ people around the world and finding joy in being themselves with one another is unparalleled. There can't be enough emphasis placed on finding your passion and using it to inspire social justice and activism in those around you. 

Takeaways

Starting a new way of life can be intimidating, but once you start incorporating these five steps into your day-to-day life, it will become second nature to you. As soon as you master one step, the others will follow suit inherently because they all blend into one another. Don't be afraid to explore ideas, perspectives, and concepts you've never considered - that's a part of the learning and growing process. 

You do not need to follow any numerical order. Instead, start anywhere comfortable for you, and feel free to go at your own pace. For example, you can begin volunteering with local organizations to meet folks in the community, learn from them, and show your support and belief in what they do. Experience how we support and encourage other LGBTQ+ folks at our Holiday Spectacular! Donating is another excellent way to contribute to the LGBTQ+ community, as it ensures safe spaces for LGBTQ+ people to remain open and accessible and allows them to earn a living. There are many ways to support the community, so go out and do what feels best! 

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